The following is a guest post by Ora Nadrich, who is the author of Says Who? How One Simple Question Can Change The Way You Think Forever. If you’d like to guest post on Money Q&A, check out the site’s guest posting guidelines.
I can’t, I won’t ever — these are but two examples of the thousands of negative thoughts that race through our minds in many situations. They’re so loud we can’t hear ourselves above them. They hold us hostage in a whirlwind of doubt and worry. But they don’t have to. Whenever a negative thought takes hold in your mind, challenge it. Just like a trespasser, you can chase it away.
It starts by immediately questioning the thought as it enters your head, using the Says Who? Method. In my book, Says Who? How One Simple Question Can Change The Way You Think Forever, I lay out the seven questions that can banish those inner bullies. You are the creator and master of your internal dialogue, which creates your reality. So now, time to show your mind who’s boss.
Here are the 7 Says Who? questions:
Whenever a negative though pops into your head, ask it: Says Who? The question exposes a negative thought for exactly what it is: a doubt that can disrupt your life and damage your sense of well-being.
Have I heard someone say this thought before?
So many of the voices in our head are actually echoes. They’re old words we heard someone else say to us, such as a parent, spouse, or boss. By identifying the originator of the thought, you can find out if it really belongs to you. Many times, it doesn’t.
Do I like this thought?
Is this thought desirable or appealing? If not, then ask yourself: why are you thinking it? If you don’t like what you’re hearing, you don’t have to listen.
Does this thought make me feel better?
Negative thoughts tear us down instead of build us up. They seep into our psyches, wreaking havoc. Is this thought making you feel better or worse about yourself? If it doesn’t enhance your self-esteem in any way, why are you thinking it?
Does this thought work for me?
Is this thought useful or productive for you? With this question, you can take a look at whether or not a thought supports your desires or goals. If not, why are you thinking it?
Am I in control of this thought?
Does this thought have any kind of hold or power over you? Or, are you in control of it? If not, ask yourself why you would let a thought have power to control you. Remember, you are the commander of your own thoughts, not the other way around.
Do I want to keep this thought or let it go?
With this question, you’re finding out if you want to hold on to a thought that serves no useful purpose for your well-being. If it’s not doing you any good, it’s probably doing you bad. So let it go.
As soon as you turn on a negative thought by asking it a direct question, it loses its power over you. Soon, you will notice that you not only aren’t being taken over by it, but now you have the power. And by asking these questions with consistency, you have taken control of your head again, and you’re your own “thought boss.”
Ora Nadrich is a Certified Life Coach, Certified Mindfulness Meditation teacher, and author of Says Who? How One Simple Question Can Change The Way You Think Forever. Ora is a frequent blogger for the Huffington Post and has been featured as a panelist on Huffington Post Live. She’s written many articles on Mindfulness, and can be found in Women’s Health Magazine, Yahoo Health, Conscious Lifestyle Magazine, Conscious2, MindBodyGreen, Elevated Existence Magazine, and LA Yoga Magazine. Learn more at www.oranadrich.com.